Monday, January 12, 2009

Crabbiness and Gratitude


Yesterday, I was feeling sort of blue and crabby. Missing D. and old friends, too. Stressed about my messy house. Mad at myself for spending too much money on fabric and yarn and other art supplies I don't really need. Grumpy at the fact that D. still lives so freakin' far away. But, mostly, just blah -- the kind of blue that comes unattached to any decent reason.

So anyway, after hours of sitting on the couch moping, I finally forced myself to get out of the house. It was 65 degrees, the sun was shining hard, and I went for a hike. Just the little regional park near my house, where hiking even a 3-mile loop means stringing together a series of short little trails and still having to do them more than once to get any decent distance. But 20 minutes into my hike, I started to feel so much better.

And then I started to think about how freakin' lucky I am to live where I do. I mean, hello, it's 65 and sunny in the middle of January! I'm out hiking in a t-shirt! The Sunday farmers market was full of great fresh produce and oysters fresh out of Tomales Bay and so many oranges and lemons and grapefruits, along with other citrus varieties I've never even heard of. And in a few weeks, all the spring flowers are going to start bursting free at the side of the roads: poppies and lupine and those trees that are just covered in yellow blooms that I can never remember the name of.

And I live close enough to snow and mountains to get to do stuff like this, too:
(Actually, full disclosure, this picture was taken up in Oregon. BUT, the Sierras are less than 200 miles away, and I'm planning on escaping to Yosemite for some winter fun this weekend. I bought snowshoes on super-sale online last week and, hello, El Cap, Half Dome, and the rest without the crowds? I'm totally there! )

And I'm close enough to the ocean that I can poke around tide pools pretty much whenever I want, checking out all the cool, other-worldly creatures that live there:

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes I get caught up in this "woe is me" bad mood and I just let myself wallow and wallow. And that's just silly. Everyone has things about their lives that they don't like. But I'm so grateful to have ended up where I have, after the years in my early 20s where I was miserable literally every single day. Years in my mid 20s where I moved to a new state every single year. After years in my late 20s and early 30s of grad school misery and the hell that was living friendless in Washington DC. I've really got so much to feed my happiness right here at my doorstep, and I'm so very, very fortunate. I must remember this.

1 comment:

Jemima said...

I know what you mean. Every time I get kind of mopey and (I hate to even say it) BORED (gasp!), I go outside and hike in Marin, run on Mt Tam or under the Golden Gate Bridge and slap myself. It's AMAZING here, so when I'm feeling that moody, I totally deserve slapment.

However, yarn purchases are never unnecessary. Now, go knit something.