Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dear Dude #5

Dear Dude,

I know that getting dumped sucks. Really, I do. I've BEEN there. It's hard. It hurts your feelings. It makes you feel less-than-worthy. I GET it. That being said, there are graceful and not-so-graceful ways to handle a break-up. You, my friend, went decidedly toward the ungraceful when I broke things off with you last week. With that in mind, here is some friendly advice for next time some lovely lady decides she doesn't want to see you anymore:

1. We have only been dating for 3 weeks. It is WAY too soon for you to be (and I quote) "devastated" about us not seeing each other anymore. Seriously, dude, I have a carton of eggs in my fridge that is older than our relationship!

2. Begging me to reconsider won't work. No one looks good when they beg. And, in fact, it really just confirms my decision to dump your overly-sensitive and dramatic butt.

3. Asking me "Did one of your friends tell you to do this?" in an accusatory tone? Really, really, really lame. SUPER lame. I am a grown-ass woman. I don't need my friends to tell me when I need to get the hell out of a bad relationship, thankyouverymuch. Also, see #2 above and add "paranoid" to the list of reasons I dumped you.

4. IM'ing me multiple times to tell me you miss me in the week after I tell you I don't want to see you anymore? Please see #2 above. Forcing me to block you on Google chat, un-friend you on Facebook, and put your phone # into my "don't even let the phone ring" category is NOT the way to win back my heart. I 'm just sayin'

5. Oh yeah, and a bonus piece of advice, just 'cos I'm feeling generous: lying about your age, height, or both on your online dating profile = DUMB. Hint -- I'm going to figure it out sooner or later. I mean, maybe you can manage to hide your driver's license from me for a lifetime, but ain't no way in hell I'm gonna believe you're 5 foot 8 when you're wearing running shoes and I, in all my 5 foot 6 glory, STILL tower over you. In my bare feet.


XOXO,

Chris

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Daily Does of Gratitude #47

1. The fact that people from Saskatchewan called hooded sweatshirts "bunny hugs."

2. A long walk around my neighborhood in last night's unseasonably warm, pink-lemonade colored dusk.

3. Avocado on sandwiches.

4. Breakfast burritos.

5. T. gets home today.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Daily Dose of Gratitude #46

1. A lovely afternoon at the beach with a good friend.

2. It actually being WARM enough on a San Francisco beach to lay around in a bikini for the whole afternoon.

3. The satisfying pop when you open English pea pods to get at the peas inside.

4. A rare night -- warm enough to sleep with every window in the house open without getting cold (It was still 66 in my house when I woke up this morning -- warmer than I usually have the heat set for overnight!)

5. This song by Lisa Hannigan:



In fact, this might be my favorite music video EVER.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Sunday, April 12, 2009

You change your mind like a girl changes clothes



This weekend has been kind of emotionally ridiculous. I can't even begin to put it together into any kind of coherent narrative. (I just quoted Katy Perry in my subject line -- THAT'S the kind of weekend I've had).


Stupid things:

1. Completely frying my face in the sun 2 days before I have to be on camera for videos that will go out to thousands of kids. Lovely.

2. Boys. Especially ones who are hot and then cold all of a sudden. And, while I'm at it, ones who don't get the hint that I broke things off for a good reason and I ain't gonna change my mind.


Good things:

1. I did at least have one of those lovely days where you just go where the spirit takes you. I went to the Marin Headlands for the first time:


Ocean Beach, too:


And Land's End at Sunset. Gorgeous!


EDT 5/12/09 to eliminate some content I decided I really didn't want out there.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Dear Dude #4

Dear Dude,

There is so much wrong with this email I don't even know where to begin.



From: Crazy dude who I am kind enough to not name
To: Me
Date received: April 9, 2009
Subject: what it do !! :)
Welcome to match. Com my name is XXXXX and I'd like to know if I
match you be cause are a hotly

xoxo,

Chris









Daily Dose of Gratitude #45

1. An after-work walk through the Presidio.

2. Southern manners.

3. The view of the city at night, rows of sparkling lights running up and down the hills.

4. A really good Americano to start my day.

5. Making connections to finally get my crafty business off the ground. (Anyone want to buy a handmade yoga bag, coffee cup cozy, etc?)