5 Surefire Ways to Make a Girl Uncomfortable on Your First Date

1. Ask her to meet you in a hotel. There's just something a little "pretty woman" about meeting a stranger in a hotel lobby.

2. Order an frou-frou girly drink from the bar and actually call it a "cocktail." Also, have a fluffy little dog, talk about how you almost wore a pink shirt today, and tell your date about how this older european man once cruised you and then tried to pick you up at a museum. Because every girl wants to worry that her date just might be batting for the other team.

3. Take her to a ridiculously expensive restaurant for dinner. Write this down: taking a girl you've never met to a place where she can't even offer to pay half the bill -- not cool. Because, well, a $40 entree is a crapload of money for those of us who work in education. (Or am I the only girl in the world who actually offers to pay on the first date?)

4. Lunge across the table in the middle of dinner at very fancy restaurant and try to shove your tongue down your date's throat. Yes, I know you are buying me a very nice dinner, but can I at least eat it before you expect me to make out with you?

5. When your date drops you off at home afterwards, introduce her to the above-mentioned little fluffy dog and then try to kiss her, again, with the dog in your arms trying to lick her face. Mmm. Dog slobber. Sexy.


(I should say that this guy was actually very nice, despite the awkwardness. But, c'mon, what's the fun in online dating if you can't make poke a little good-natured fun at your dates for the whole internet to read? :-P )